So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i drank out of a bidet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
