In the future we'll all be gay
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
