4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
