Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
