You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
