if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize