you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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