Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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