best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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