My friends, they love my intelligence
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
