dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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