david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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