im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
