You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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