...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
