i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
