that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
