So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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