Will you blow on my dice?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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