At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
