Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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