Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
