She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
