Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize