her vagine was all disorganized.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she pinky promised me she was 18
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
