Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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