Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Bring me that man meat
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
