Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
