An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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