ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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