Soap is not a condiment
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
