people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
