In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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