I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize