Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
