HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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