we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
