those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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