it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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