Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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