I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I love you.
Bad choice
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
