what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
