5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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