I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
