I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
