did you get engaged???
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
