This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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