so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
