Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
