They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
