Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
