its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
