Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
