Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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