i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
