i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
