At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
