dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
