Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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