actually, I'm a sock model
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
