I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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